The Way Back to Me

On Returning to Myself

There are places I return to
 that never changed —
 but I did.
For years, I learned how to disappear in service of others.
 I gave what I had,
 and then what I didn’t,
 and then what I should have saved
 for myself.
I confused sacrifice with being needed.
I confused silence with strength.
I confused endurance with identity.
And somewhere in that long stretch of being useful,
 the man I was meant to be
 quietly stepped off to the side,
 waiting for me to remember him.
I think I finally have.
Not all at once.
 Not in some cinematic moment of clarity.
 But slowly — like boots on familiar ground,
 a path I forgot I once trusted.
There are pieces of me here
 I left behind on purpose.
 There are pieces I abandoned without meaning to.
 And there are pieces I am meeting again
 like old friends who never raised their voices,
 but always saved me a place at the table.
I used to think coming back to myself
 meant rebuilding the strongest version of me.
Now I see it differently.
Coming back means building the truest version —
 the one who rests,
 the one who listens,
 the one who refuses to vanish just to be valued.
I am learning to return to myself
 without apology.
 To honor what I feel
 without permission.
 To breathe like a man who finally understands
 that his own happiness is not selfish —
 it’s oxygen.
And as I stand here,
 on the edge of what comes next,
 I can feel it:
I am not returning to who I was.
 I am returning to who I was meant to be.
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What I Owe Myself

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The Tenderness of Repetition